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Man to Man

 
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Seawind



Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 15
Location: PEI Canada

PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 1:48 pm    Post subject: Man to Man Reply with quote

I Have to do a Man to man talk with my son this afternoon.

I was running the kids through HS this morning and I stopped back into the home office to get some more work done. My 13 3/4 yr old son son stops in and asks - "Dad, Can I go back to PS Just for grade 9. I don't want to go to High school" I told him to finish his work and we will talk about it this afternoon. So I need some feed back - He is gone for guitar lessons right now.

Anyway, we just started HS again 1.5 years ago. His older brother over heard Ted talking to me and gave him the lecture on his way by - "Nothing has changed back there Bud! You just forget how bad it was" speech.

Anyway, Of all the kids we knew he would be the one. But this is only the 2nd time he has mentioned it. He Loves his study with SL. The first time he mentioned it, Ted commented; "IF I could do these books at PS, I would not mind going back, I do miss my Friends. But I hate the books we did there, this study is so much better. And I have more time for things while Hsing."

Well today it was "I want to go back for just one year -would it be OK"

Anyway, I have no intentions of saying yes. But I have to look like I'm hearing him. And I know it's just a "Friends" Issue. But that is part of the reason why we wanted him home. He was to peer dependant. And We do get him our as much as we can. To the Athletic club 1-2 times a week. and Youth Group as well. But My kids are the oldest int he group - so they have no peers there.

Any words of wisdom I should share with him????
I'm not above Directly Quoting you - using my own voice

ANDY
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bartii



Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 180
Location: Boise, ID

PostPosted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What is the reason your son wants to go to PS? What is it he seems to think he is missing?
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Seawind



Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 15
Location: PEI Canada

PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:54 am    Post subject: man to man Reply with quote

Hi Bartii

Well, he is still not clear on that yet. What I am hearing is that he is missing friends. (See we HS in the younger grades. Put them in PS for 4 years and now the last 1.5 yrs we are back to Hsing.)

But I say - "This is what I hear you saying". And he says it's not that. He has used the word closure. I was taken out of school middle of grade 7 (by His choice and enthusiastic agreement) and need closure. It is not the activities etc.
But the problem is he wants to go and finish his grade 9 - Here that is the last year of Jr High school (grade 7-9).
He does not want to go to the High School ever he says.

But the problem we have now is that he is doing High school (Gr 10) in Most subjects now. So he will be basically stalling his learning progress by going to PS now for grade 9. Repeating things he has done, and is way beyond now. It will be an academically wasted year.
Anyway, I have had a few conversations sense then, and my Wife as well. But, we both agree it stems to the social aspect. And We have told him of our rule. You can have any friend over any day you wish - clear it with us first. So we are not cutting him off. But his peer dependant friends don't bother with him much now. And My Boys are the only kids their age in our church. So it is tough. We do go tot he sports plex 2 days a week and he does see people there as well.

Anyway, we are going to keep listening. I did tell him that we are as concerned about his happiness and contentment as he is. So lets figure out what you are saying you need (And he is not clear yet) and see how we can fill the gaps.
Anyway, he loves his HS studies much much more he says.
He knows it will be a wasted year academically.
He just wishes he could do his HS books at PS is all.
So it seems he wants the best of both worlds. And Bot PS and HS have advantages and disadvantages. And That's life.
But am am not falling in to the trap of thinking I can reduplicate for him what PS would offer him as - We just can't.
And getting tied to the PS Schedule and system even a little now is almost impossible with my Summer work, and Lynn's Winter schedule. It was all three in Hsing, or none.
To put him back in PS would truly hang the HSing routine and flexibility we need to thrive as Hsers.

As for Attending a class or two - Here I know of no HS kids who ever did that. It would be a new thing for this school board. The Law says we can do it - at the discretion of the local Principle. However, I will be honest- I don't feel like I want to be the one to try to break tis new ground here with this school board. There is so Little Hsing here that many think it's nuts. Again, he is past grade 9 in all subjects and that is the only grade and school he wants to go to. He does not want to shift to the High school.

Anyway, We were clear with them when we started. With the situation being as it was that this was an all the boys do this or none. And There is no going back when we burn this bridge. And they were all excited about the decision. And Don't get me wrong, Ted loves Hsing as well. But this closure thing.
Anyway, Clear as mud?
Have to run.
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bartii



Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 180
Location: Boise, ID

PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clear as mud is right. I think I understand what you are saying. However, I don't think I we have a clear picture what he wants, as does he.

I can't remember if you are in Canada or the states. But, either way, depending on what the rules are where you live, he should be able to attend a class or two in PS. However, like you said this could hamper your time. It almost seems if he agreed to the arrangement he should be held accountable to his word.

This is a tough one. I wish you the best.
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Seawind



Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 15
Location: PEI Canada

PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:53 pm    Post subject: Man to man Reply with quote

Hey Bartii

We are in Canada. Ted could attend a few PS classes, but the law in our province says that it is at the discretion of the Local school "Principal". Anyway, I get the impression he wants the best of both worlds. He is not causing us grief over this but doing A LOT of talking.

Anyway, what is funny is that our original idea was to HS only our youngest. Then Ted (This son I'm talking about) Begged - "Can I be HSed as well. Please, please." We said yes he could, and then realized it had to be all or none.

Anyway, Your comment about him having to keep up to his word & commitment. I think you are on to something there. He may not like it. But he knew what he was getting into - Ask to get into it. And now wants to change mid stream for one year.

Anyway, He would be in Grade 8 right now, and is doing grade 10 High school level stuff right now. So Sending him even for a few grade 9 courses still is academically a waste - Just to help him find "Closure".

Anyway, Wife and I are in agreement. I think what my wife said in our discussion last might is about it. Share with him about how He burned his bridge willingly and enthusiastically when he wanted to be HSed. That was made very clear at the time. So Now we have to keep swimming. We had a lot of family discussions about this, and went in with eyes wide open.

I appreciate the idea of encouraging him to realize he just needs to fulfil his commitment. Thanks. It was good to get some feed back.
Andy
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