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Ever Just Need a Guy Hug?

 
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edtheredhead



Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 81
Location: Northwest PA

PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 10:53 pm    Post subject: Ever Just Need a Guy Hug? Reply with quote

Howdy gents,

Just thought I'd check in. I've had some incredibly frustrating days in the last 10 days. None of them have been about school. I've been fighting with the cell phone company (I didn't know that cell phones aren't supposed to be used inside my house), my cable company (been lied to 4 times in a week), Walmart (who keeps cheese unrefrigerated even though it says refrigerate on the outside of the box), and just about everything in between.

Sometimes you need a hug from a friend. Unfortunately, all my really good guy friends live over 500 miles away.

Thanks for listening to me whine.

Godspeed.
Ed.
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Ed
Married to Margaret (1996)
1 daughter Belinda (1999)
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Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 9:49 am    Post subject: Re: Ever Just Need a Guy Hug? Reply with quote

edtheredhead wrote:
Howdy gents,

Just thought I'd check in. I've had some incredibly frustrating days in the last 10 days. None of them have been about school. I've been fighting with the cell phone company (I didn't know that cell phones aren't supposed to be used inside my house), my cable company (been lied to 4 times in a week), Walmart (who keeps cheese unrefrigerated even though it says refrigerate on the outside of the box), and just about everything in between.

Sometimes you need a hug from a friend. Unfortunately, all my really good guy friends live over 500 miles away.

Thanks for listening to me whine.

Godspeed.
Ed.



Hi Ed,

Such things just seem to leach you of essential elements, don't they. Consider yourself hugged.

Rich
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homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13
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Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 10:22 pm    Post subject: Keep on Keepin' On... Reply with quote

Hi Guys,

It's my turn to need that warm and understanding bear hug. We're winding down another full, action packed day here at my house and looking foreward to another tomorrow. Time is divided between lessons at home and lessons forty-five minutes away. Trying to get kids where they need to be; basketball, music lessons, scouts, you name it, while conducting classes at home home is indeed a stretch. Trying to add in keeping house, cooking meals, the golden retreiver puppy and working full time adds more. Factor in the spouse who travels for work and is away from home 2-3 days weeky, is working on her masters degree and it sometimes goes over the top. I anxiously await a time in the future where there is balance- I know it's coming. It's almost impossible to find another guy who can identify with these issues so I post them here, prayerfully looking for someone who can relate. There aren't many men who have experienced the role reversal that we have not to mention the added responsibility of educating our kids, so I rely on you.

Rich
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homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13
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edtheredhead



Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 81
Location: Northwest PA

PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rich,

I here you on the whole role reversal thing. It seems like every night when my wife and I share, she's sharing "big stuff" and I'm sharing that our daughter took 35 minutes to get dressed, AGAIN. I know, logically, that we look to the future and we don't see daily results. But yet it's hard.

So, I'll send you cyber hugs.

Hope today is going better for you.

Godspeed,
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Ed
Married to Margaret (1996)
1 daughter Belinda (1999)
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bartii



Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 180
Location: Boise, ID

PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 1:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hear you all. It has been very frustrating. My wife and I starting up a home business. I am not as knowledgeable as she is in bookkeeping. I have to learn Quicken and Quickbooks. I have different ways of itemizing then she does so I have to learn how she wants things done.

In the past week I have been to the ER with high blood pressure and a racing heart. Still working on this.

Homeschooling my oldest son has been a chore and I sort of want to send him to a private school, but lack the funds. I really want to homeschool him but he has no interest in learning and remembering what he has been taught. I am confused, frustrated and lost. My wife and I were up with him until 11:00 last night letting him know what the future holds for him and that we may be sending him to school. At the end he seemed to get it, but I guess we will see later on.

cyber hugs to all of you.
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Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

edtheredhead wrote:
Rich,

I here you on the whole role reversal thing. It seems like every night when my wife and I share, she's sharing "big stuff" and I'm sharing that our daughter took 35 minutes to get dressed, AGAIN. I know, logically, that we look to the future and we don't see daily results. But yet it's hard.

So, I'll send you cyber hugs.

Hope today is going better for you.

Godspeed,


Hi guys,

Thanks for replying. I'm in the middle of a hectic work weekend but had to drop a line back and say thanks. I appreciate knowing you're there and that you understand where I'm coming from. Barti, Take care of yourself. It sounds like you're really on stress overload. My thanks again and prayers of gratitude for this website and you who read it.

Rich
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homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13


Last edited by Rich on Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

edtheredhead wrote:
Rich,

I here you on the whole role reversal thing. It seems like every night when my wife and I share, she's sharing "big stuff" and I'm sharing that our daughter took 35 minutes to get dressed, AGAIN. I know, logically, that we look to the future and we don't see daily results. But yet it's hard.

So, I'll send you cyber hugs.

Hope today is going better for you.

Godspeed,


Hi Ed,

Thanks again for the hug. It meant a lot. I wanted to get back to you on the matter of sharing big vs. non-big things. I know where you're coming from because I struggle with this from time to time as well. My wife has the big career and earns the major income too. While my career and income is pretty good, hers is much more. We're blessed to be in the situation where my work can be done arond the clock and part time so I have been able to remain in the workforce all the while having at least one parent home. I think it's relatively rare or at least, uncommon for the dad to sacrifice career growth and personal gratification in order to focus his attention on raising children and keeping the home. Most men and many women view this as degrading. The life that we have chosen puts all of that second, but isn't raising children well the most challenging "career"and the most responsible thing a person can do? How sad that it lacks the prestige and financial recognition that is the measuring stick of success in our society.

I grew up in a single parent household, was a latch-key kid and basically raised myself. My mother was a workaholic-alcoholic and my father was not in the picture. In fact, I never met or even saw a picture of him. That I didn't end up in trouble is a real testimony of God's Grace. Being the best parent to my kids is a committment that is close to my heart and I love the fact that all of you guys feel the same way. Career satisfaction and financial rewards will always be possible. We will have our chance to do that. Giving your kids a happy, safe and secure home along with a quality education is done best as a one shot deal and gives retirement bonuses that no 401K can offer.

Be well,

Rich
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homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13
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Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2006 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bartii wrote:
I hear you all. It has been very frustrating. My wife and I starting up a home business. I am not as knowledgeable as she is in bookkeeping. I have to learn Quicken and Quickbooks. I have different ways of itemizing then she does so I have to learn how she wants things done.

In the past week I have been to the ER with high blood pressure and a racing heart. Still working on this.

Homeschooling my oldest son has been a chore and I sort of want to send him to a private school, but lack the funds. I really want to homeschool him but he has no interest in learning and remembering what he has been taught. I am confused, frustrated and lost. My wife and I were up with him until 11:00 last night letting him know what the future holds for him and that we may be sending him to school. At the end he seemed to get it, but I guess we will see later on.

cyber hugs to all of you.


Hi Barti,

When I read your posting, I saw myself writing the sentences about what's going on with your son. I am experiencing many of the same things. My son is dyslexic and has ADD/ADHD. His sisters don't require any specialized teaching and tend to learn very quickly. They have skipped grades which adds pressure to their brother to perform academically. Schooling him has called on every cell of my body. I know how frustrating this is and how much pain it causes. Early on, at the end of really bad days, I would take the dog for walk in the woods alone and sometimes cry because I was beyond frustrated and at a loss for inspiration and new ideas. I didn't want anyone to think something was wrong.

God has provided insights and opportunities that have enabled us to rise above much of the conflict but we are having a difficult year, this year. He is taking classes through a co-op and doing some pretty good work there but not without a lot of effort on my part. He goes to Sylvan Learning Center and comes home with achievement certificates but he refuses do any subject work at home with me. His reason is "I don't know." He knows he's in danger of staying back this year but that doesn't cause him to work on the effort part of the problem. Time and again, he shows that he can clearly do the work but still, he doesn't perform.

As part of the total picture, he was re-evaluated this year using a psychoeducational assessment. He did this about age seven and we learned then that his abilities were all over the map. His language skills were behind but his spatial and reasoning abilities were at a highschool level. Clearly we needed to design a specialized curriculum for him. I suppose we're a little late in doing it again but spending $1900 out of pocket may have had something to do with that... Anyway, our appointment to review it all will be in about another week. Our son knows how important this appointment is and what kind of impact it will have on his learning and I believe he's as anxious for the results as we are. This will yield information on how his learning style has changed and we will have a more clear picture of his scholastic aptitude. Additionally, we will know more about how his medicines are working or if changes can or should be made.

Finally, I expect that we could use some family counseling. Living in close proximity with others and having such attributes as he has requires communication skills that he hasn't developed. We have done well but can do better. All of us need to work on this and sometimes having an outsider to mediate helps everyone to buy in. Now, it's just dad doing his "thing" or mom doing her "thing". Skills used in earlier years don't work any more.

Like you, we've visited the idea of sending him to public school but never seriously considered it because we know what it takes to teach him. There is no way that he could function in that environment and acccomplish anything but get into trouble. He needs a very small group and a very short lead. He's now able to learn using conventional methodology but only for short periods at a time. He has a long way to go yet before he can do anything in a six hour school day.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Have a hug for yourself.

Rich
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homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13
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bartii



Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 180
Location: Boise, ID

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 1:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Rich for your response. I have to wipe away a tear. I feel so along in this. It just seems like everyone is having an easy time at this. It seems like other kids are just breezing by their work at home. It seems that parents are so happy.

Maybe it is just because we are struggling. It takes a lot out of me. Like you have shed many tears.

Again, thanks for listening and the hug,

bart
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Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bartii wrote:
Thanks Rich for your response. I have to wipe away a tear. I feel so along in this. It just seems like everyone is having an easy time at this. It seems like other kids are just breezing by their work at home. It seems that parents are so happy.

Maybe it is just because we are struggling. It takes a lot out of me. Like you have shed many tears.

Again, thanks for listening and the hug,

bart


Hi Bart,

Hasn't it been said that with the greatest struggles comes the greatest rewards. We do have our work cut out for us but at least we're not alone. As great as it is to have loving and supportive wives and family, connecting with other homeschooling dads makes it better.

Gods Peace and Gods Strength be with you,

Rich
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