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How Do You Respond?
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Richard



Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Posts: 4
Location: Lansing, KS

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 1:25 pm    Post subject: How Do You Respond? Reply with quote

Pardon me if you've had this discussion before...

How do you respond to the string of thoughtless, insensitive, and sometimes insulting comments from the ignorant masses that you meet each day??

I finally met the father of another home schooling family that I had become friends with. He greeted me with, "So this is the little woman." The next time we met he referred to me as "the housewife." I let these comments hang in the air. I didn’t respond, preferring to stare at him so that the awkward uncomfortable silence made him realize that he was being an ass. His wife hung her head in embarrassment and tried to hide behind his back.

Store clerks of all ages, usually women, see me in public with my three children and ask, “Giving mom a break for the day?” “Dad taking a turn?” “Mom’s day off?”

I can handle this from the older women who were raised in a different generation with different views as to the roles that men and women play. The younger ones are a little more annoying. Usually I respond with a gentle answer. “This is what I do everyday.” The funny thing is, most people tell me that they think it is a great idea, that they wish their husbands did the same thing, or they tell me the story of a female friend or relative who works while their husbands stay home. Cool. But if they are really so happy with the idea, why is seeing a father in public with his children such a novelty that they A) must make a comment and B) the comment must have a negative edge to it? They might as well begin the conversation by saying, “Glad to see you’re finally participating in your children’s lives (if only for a day), you selfish bum.”

The most difficult judgment to deal with comes from the more conservative Christians who feel that the only way for a man to be the head of his household is to work each day and earn money and the only way for a woman to support her husband is to remain at home and raise the kids. The odd thing is that while I never sought to be “in charge” of my household, I am in far more control on a daily basis than I was when I was teaching full time. My wife, in her role as primary wage earner, is doing far more “support” work (literally and figuratively) than when she was home full time. There are a lot of people who cannot wrap their minds around this concept. It just doesn’t fit their tradition role models.

The oddest reaction that I receive to my stay-at-home, home schooling dad lifestyle comes when I tell people that I am employed outside of the home. I can always tell when the person that I am speaking with does not view my daily job as “work,” or my wife’s role as the primary wage earner as “proper.” I tell people that I work part-time for a major airline, loading planes at night and on weekends. This part-time money accounts for 1/20 of our annual income (although it is a needed 1/20 – and the flight benefits are great). When they hear that I have a “real” job, suddenly, everything is okay. I am a contributor. This reaction always reminds me of a time in our country when getting pregnant out of wedlock was shunned, but if the young couple married before delivery then every thing was “alright.” The marriage certificate erased everyone’s ability to do simple math, and an August marriage before a November due-date was the same as a February marriage before a November due-date. It’s all legitimate.

I don’t spend much time thinking about this stuff on a daily basis. And I do not spend much time thinking about it at all until I am confronted with it. But I am confronted with it, and I am wondering how other dads handle it. Is the only solution to simply try to ignore it? Do you have a favorite witty reply? Pithy comment? Do you have a zinger ready to shoot at the unsuspecting fool who verbally wanders into your territory?

How do you respond to the string of thoughtless, insensitive, and sometimes insulting comments from the ignorant masses that you meet each day??
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BigDaddy
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Joined: 25 Feb 2005
Posts: 148
Location: Orlando

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 2:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Richard. I can't say it has ever bothered me before. It actually use to bother my wife more in the past when we both would attend a homeschool group meeting or training session and they'd say "OK ladies..." or "you moms need to...".

When someone makes a comment like that to me though, I kinda laugh along with it. Then I'd come back to say that I have found a new respect for stay-at-home moms. Managing a household was a lot tougher than the other two managing positions I've had in the past.

The next time you encounter a Christian who makes a comment like that, ask them what the most important job a parent has. It is to raise your children up to know the Lord. And if they were to read the Proverbs 31 woman, doesn't she earn an income as well?

Anyway, don't let it get to you. They may be just jealous because they can't spend time with their children.

Mark
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Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 7:27 pm    Post subject: Re: How Do You Respond? Reply with quote

Richard wrote:
Pardon me if you've had this discussion before...

How do you respond to the string of thoughtless, insensitive, and sometimes insulting comments from the ignorant masses that you meet each day??

I finally met the father of another home schooling family that I had become friends with. He greeted me with, "So this is the little woman." The next time we met he referred to me as "the housewife." I let these comments hang in the air. I didn’t respond, preferring to stare at him so that the awkward uncomfortable silence made him realize that he was being an ass. His wife hung her head in embarrassment and tried to hide behind his back.

Store clerks of all ages, usually women, see me in public with my three children and ask, “Giving mom a break for the day?” “Dad taking a turn?” “Mom’s day off?”

I can handle this from the older women who were raised in a different generation with different views as to the roles that men and women play. The younger ones are a little more annoying. Usually I respond with a gentle answer. “This is what I do everyday.” The funny thing is, most people tell me that they think it is a great idea, that they wish their husbands did the same thing, or they tell me the story of a female friend or relative who works while their husbands stay home. Cool. But if they are really so happy with the idea, why is seeing a father in public with his children such a novelty that they A) must make a comment and B) the comment must have a negative edge to it? They might as well begin the conversation by saying, “Glad to see you’re finally participating in your children’s lives (if only for a day), you selfish bum.”

The most difficult judgment to deal with comes from the more conservative Christians who feel that the only way for a man to be the head of his household is to work each day and earn money and the only way for a woman to support her husband is to remain at home and raise the kids. The odd thing is that while I never sought to be “in charge” of my household, I am in far more control on a daily basis than I was when I was teaching full time. My wife, in her role as primary wage earner, is doing far more “support” work (literally and figuratively) than when she was home full time. There are a lot of people who cannot wrap their minds around this concept. It just doesn’t fit their tradition role models.

The oddest reaction that I receive to my stay-at-home, home schooling dad lifestyle comes when I tell people that I am employed outside of the home. I can always tell when the person that I am speaking with does not view my daily job as “work,” or my wife’s role as the primary wage earner as “proper.” I tell people that I work part-time for a major airline, loading planes at night and on weekends. This part-time money accounts for 1/20 of our annual income (although it is a needed 1/20 – and the flight benefits are great). When they hear that I have a “real” job, suddenly, everything is okay. I am a contributor. This reaction always reminds me of a time in our country when getting pregnant out of wedlock was shunned, but if the young couple married before delivery then every thing was “alright.” The marriage certificate erased everyone’s ability to do simple math, and an August marriage before a November due-date was the same as a February marriage before a November due-date. It’s all legitimate.

I don’t spend much time thinking about this stuff on a daily basis. And I do not spend much time thinking about it at all until I am confronted with it. But I am confronted with it, and I am wondering how other dads handle it. Is the only solution to simply try to ignore it? Do you have a favorite witty reply? Pithy comment? Do you have a zinger ready to shoot at the unsuspecting fool who verbally wanders into your territory?

How do you respond to the string of thoughtless, insensitive, and sometimes insulting comments from the ignorant masses that you meet each day??


Hi Richard,

Boy, back when I started homeschooling 9 years ago, I could've written almost every word that you just did. Unfortunately, little has changed since then. I say little but there really are noticable changes in the social acceptance of what are now called SAHDs. The Christian sect is really no better in fact, the further "right" they are, the more judgemental they are. They figure that Paul's sex role definitions defined in his letters of 2000 years ago are Gospel and not social advice. More than one "well meaning" mom in a denim jumper complete with embroidered apple has kindly offered me "scripturally based" advice.

In closing, keep to your goals. The very best gift that you can give your kids is your love, presence, and instruction. You and your wife have made conscious decisions to do what you're doing and with very good reasons. Time and time again, we've seen concrete examples that home educating children is absolutely the way to go.

Another Richard.
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homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13


Last edited by Rich on Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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alakazam



Joined: 01 Oct 2005
Posts: 5
Location: Alaska

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 8:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most people probably don't mean their comments to be insults, so don't take them that way. (And if they do, you still don't have to feel insulted -- that's completely your choice.)

In general, I think that Moms are better at day-to-day kid raising so I tend to think of that as "normal" -- probably most folks even today think the same way. And I'm not sure that should change. Just because we might be "more enlightened" doesn't mean that everything that's been the norm for the last umpteen-thousands of years has been wrong.

I've worked from home since before we got kids, so I've never felt "out-of-place" during the day, etc. And if some guy made a snide comment to me I'd think he was probably just jealous that he couldn't spend as much time with his kids -- and if that's not what he thought, I'd know he was an idiot and so could discount his opinion. =;)

Jay Jennings
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edtheredhead



Joined: 02 Apr 2005
Posts: 81
Location: Northwest PA

PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2005 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep, I hear them a lot. Or, I get incredibly strange looks. A couple of weeks ago, my daughter (6) started ballet. I was sitting there waiting for her class to start when I heard a "thump, thump, thump" coming down the stairs and realized that someone had fallen. I jumped up and went out to see if I could help. The mom had an infant in her arms, a 6 year-old with her, and her 3 year old had just fallen down the stairs.

I simply said, "Can I take the baby for you?" and you would not believe the looks I got. You would have thought I asked, "Can I molest your kid here in front of you?"

I actually decided NOT to participate in a coop simply because I would have been the only dad there. There are times when you're willing to fight, and then there are times where it's just not worth it.

Last spring I went to our state's hs'ing convention where someone was handing out "My wife homeschools & she's my hero" stickers. They were almost offended when I didn't take one, even after I told them that I was the primary teacher. I'd love to get a t-shirt with big letters for next year that says, "I homeschool and I am a hero."

Anyhow, just my venting.
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Married to Margaret (1996)
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Bassnote



Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Posts: 2
Location: Chicago Area

PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really don't experience a lot of negativity about being a stay at home dad. I recieve loads of support from the people in my church. In fact, before we made our decision for me to stay home, the first person I talked to was my pastor. (note to all: my pastor is more like a really close friend than stereotypical clergy) He told me that he personally was not cut out to be a SAHD. This was not because he thought it would make him less masculine. It was because he has seen his wife homeschool five children all the way through high school, and he knows how hard it is (by the way, his wife has MS, and is confined to a motorized chair to get herself around...she is one of my heroes). He told us God would help us reach the right decision for us, and he was right. He, and all the other fathers in our church, never give me a hard time about being the one at home. Most of these guy will immediately take over for their wives when they get home so their wives can get a break. As far as outside the home, I do hear a Mr. Mom comment every once in a while. More often than not, my daughters will say that Dad is their home school teacher, and the most common response is, "Is Dad a good teacher?" Also my wife is constantly telling me she knows how hard it is, and she supports me 100%. I guess it all comes down to the support system you have around you. I feel very blessed.
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Bassnote
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bartii



Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 180
Location: Boise, ID

PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 11:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I consulted various people about staying home, raising my children, and hsing them. I get a lot of respect from others, especially mothers even working mothers.

I still have the biblical spiritual leadership role in the house. Even though my wife and I discuss everything together and we usually agree on a decision there have been times we have disagreed. When it came time for a final decision to be made she submited to my decision. But, we both respect each other and that is very important.

I get teased now and then about staying home and hsing our boys, doing laundry, dusting, vacuuming and so on. But, I wouldn't change it for the world. I love it. If someone comes at me I just tell them it obviously wasn't meant for your family but it is for ours.

I am considered quit conservative in my Christian view point, but I have not been teased by other Christian men and women or others of other faiths.
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Guest






PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 10:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i say &*%$! at the thought of taking that kind of behavior from someone.
you do a diservice to us all by ignoring it and further support the assumption that people making these kind of offhand slights assume to be true.
i am not "the housewife" nor am i "the little lady"

i am a proud SaHD that homeschools and my kids are the better for it.
you don't have to be rude about it but i would deffinately take the insulting person aside and in a calm even tone explain to them that we are still men.
anyone that assumes different is asking for it imo and that includes relatives.
sorry for the rant but i get so sick of the apathetic approach to dealing with this kind of demeaning treatment from people who just need to be educated.

prepare a list of the various duties we have to perform each day the offending party will be quick to understand that it takes a lot of time and energy and self sacrifice to be a SaHP
http://www.salary.com/careers/layoutscripts/crel_display.asp?tab=cre&cat=nocat&ser=Ser410&part=Par626

note for them the statistics that show the obvious scholastic benefits homeschooling provides and quote national statistics if needed
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TwistedLefty



Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 8
Location: moosouri

PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 10:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anonymous wrote:
i say &*%$? at the thought of taking that kind of ridicule from someone.
you do a diservice to us all by ignoring it and further support the assumption that people making these kind of offhand slights assume to be true.
i am not "the housewife" nor am i "the little lady"

i am a proud SaHD that homeschools and my kids are the better for it.
you don't have to be rude about it but i would deffinately take the insulting person aside and in a calm even tone explain to them that we are still men.
anyone that assumes different is asking for it imo and that includes relatives.
sorry for the rant but i get so sick of the apathetic approach to dealing with this kind of demeaning treatment from people who just need to be educated.

prepare a list of the various duties we have to perform each day the offending party will be quick to understand that it takes a lot of time and energy and self sacrifice to be a SaHP
http://www.salary.com/careers/layoutscripts/crel_display.asp?tab=cre&cat=nocat&ser=Ser410&part=Par626

note for them the statistics that show the obvious scholastic benefits homeschooling provides and quote national statistics if needed


sorry i was so inspired to post this that i neglected to log in first
p.s. i also wanted to add that being a "christian" has nothing to do with this topic and failing to stand up for yourself is just hiding behind it
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Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 11:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TwistedLefty wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
i say BS at the thought of taking that kind of crap from someone.
you do a diservice to us all by ignoring it and further support the assumption that people making these kind of offhand slights assume to be true.
i am not "the housewife" nor am i "the little lady"

i am a proud SaHD that homeschools and my kids are the better for it.
you don't have to be rude about it but i would deffinately take the insulting person aside and in a calm even tone explain to them that we are still men.
anyone that assumes different is asking for it imo and that includes relatives.
sorry for the rant but i get so sick of the apathetic approach to dealing with this kind of demeaning treatment from people who just need to be educated.

prepare a list of the various duties we have to perform each day the offending party will be quick to understand that it takes a lot of time and energy and self sacrifice to be a SaHP
http://www.salary.com/careers/layoutscripts/crel_display.asp?tab=cre&cat=nocat&ser=Ser410&part=Par626

note for them the statistics that show the obvious scholastic benefits homeschooling provides and quote national statistics if needed


sorry i was so inspired to post this that i neglected to log in first
p.s. i also wanted to add that being a "christian" has nothing to do with this topic and failing to stand up for yourself is just hiding behind it


Hi Twisted,

Thanks for the weblink, it gave me a chuckle. I hear your rant and have felt it for years myself. You're right, we do have a reason to be proud and should speak up for ourselves but not with sarcastic or other defensive remarks. Be prepared though, for a long, uphill battle. Americans are really in the dark about education and it's very clear that as a nation, we have it very low on the priority list. Furthermore, valuing educating your kids and strengthening the family unit above career success and money makes you a real oddity. I'm grateful however, that the disease is catching. There many more of us SAHDs than there were even a few years ago and I think we're in it for the long haul. I'm glad you're here.

Rich
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homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13
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amroberts
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 7:19 am    Post subject: How Do You Reply Reply with quote

Don't let it bother you. Enjoy what you have, chances are they are very envious. I've been home for 5 years and I get the "the kids are out with grandpa routine" I do look a little older, 54 this year. It bothered me for a while but then I realized what a blessing God had given me and it was cool. We have a new baby due in Sept. I can just imagine what I will hear when we are out then.Enjoy this time you have now because when the ride is over you will be able to look back and be very proud of your accomplishment. Remember don't let the knuckleheads in this world rain on your parade!!!!!!!!!!!
Pat
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RB



Joined: 06 Apr 2006
Posts: 55

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 10:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A former colleague of mine, Ham, is an African American history teacher. In our many discussions, he told me stories of growing up as a black man in St. Joseph, Missouri. One amazing story taught me a lesson that I have carried with me since hearing it. Ham is an avid gardener, and the front yard of his home is a work of art. While working in his garden, a gold Cadillac pulled up to the front curb. The driver’s tinted side window lowered, revealing an older white lady behind the wheel. She looked at Ham and asked, “Does the lady of the house let you hire out?”

“I beg your pardon?” Ham answered.

“Does the lady of the home hire you out?” she asked again.

“Ma’am,” Ham replied. “I own this home.”

Ham said nothing more. He looked at the lady and she looked at him. He could tell by the expression on her face that she realized what an ass she had been. Ham could have spoken to her about prejudice. He could have yelled. He could have hurled a couple of nasty invectives. Instead, he allowed her words to hang in the air. His silence made her uncomfortable in the awkwardness of the situation, not him. It was a powerful tool.

I employed the same technique with the knucklehead who called me “little lady” and “housewife.” Neither comment challenged my manhood in any manner. I am very curious, Twisted Lefty, as to why they challenged yours. You wrote, “you do a diservice to us all by ignoring it and further support the assumption that people making these kind of offhand slights assume to be true…you don't have to be rude about it but i would deffinately take the insulting person aside and in a calm even tone explain to them that we are still men. anyone that assumes different is asking for it imo and that includes relatives. sorry for the rant but i get so sick of the apathetic approach to dealing with this kind of demeaning treatment from people who just need to be educated.”

Tell me, how far do you take this “education” that you are dispensing? When the person does not back down, do you press the issue? I can see the calm and even tones of, “Please don’t call me names,” working against the idea of “I am still a man.” Actually, just saying, “Hey, I am still a man,” is an indication that the speaker isn’t completely comfortable in their self-identification. Preparing a list of my “duties” to dispense to people is ludicrous. I have far better uses for my time. If the macho guy calling you “little lady” does not back down after you educate them, do you take it to blows? When they throw your list of duties over their shoulder do you beat the truth into them?

In my situation, the man uttering those comments is a conservative Christian who believes in a Biblical mandate for traditional roles. In his world view, I am not living a Christian life style. Tell me, what amount of education is going to change his mind? Will a list suffice?

I respect both your anger over the subject and your right to post your thoughts. I appreciate your reply to my original post. I don’t agree with your approach, so I fear I may continue to be a disservice to all stay at home dads.
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TwistedLefty



Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Posts: 8
Location: moosouri

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 3:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

RB wrote:
A former colleague of mine, Ham, is an African American history teacher. In our many discussions, he told me stories of growing up as a black man in St. Joseph, Missouri. One amazing story taught me a lesson that I have carried with me since hearing it. Ham is an avid gardener, and the front yard of his home is a work of art. While working in his garden, a gold Cadillac pulled up to the front curb. The driver’s tinted side window lowered, revealing an older white lady behind the wheel. She looked at Ham and asked, “Does the lady of the house let you hire out?”

“I beg your pardon?” Ham answered.

“Does the lady of the home hire you out?” she asked again.

“Ma’am,” Ham replied. “I own this home.”

Ham said nothing more. He looked at the lady and she looked at him. He could tell by the expression on her face that she realized what an ass she had been. Ham could have spoken to her about prejudice. He could have yelled. He could have hurled a couple of nasty invectives. Instead, he allowed her words to hang in the air. His silence made her uncomfortable in the awkwardness of the situation, not him. It was a powerful tool.

I employed the same technique with the knucklehead who called me “little lady” and “housewife.” Neither comment challenged my manhood in any manner. I am very curious, Twisted Lefty, as to why they challenged yours. You wrote, “you do a diservice to us all by ignoring it and further support the assumption that people making these kind of offhand slights assume to be true…you don't have to be rude about it but i would deffinately take the insulting person aside and in a calm even tone explain to them that we are still men. anyone that assumes different is asking for it imo and that includes relatives. sorry for the rant but i get so sick of the apathetic approach to dealing with this kind of demeaning treatment from people who just need to be educated.”

Tell me, how far do you take this “education” that you are dispensing? When the person does not back down, do you press the issue? I can see the calm and even tones of, “Please don’t call me names,” working against the idea of “I am still a man.” Actually, just saying, “Hey, I am still a man,” is an indication that the speaker isn’t completely comfortable in their self-identification. Preparing a list of my “duties” to dispense to people is ludicrous. I have far better uses for my time. If the macho guy calling you “little lady” does not back down after you educate them, do you take it to blows? When they throw your list of duties over their shoulder do you beat the truth into them?

In my situation, the man uttering those comments is a conservative Christian who believes in a Biblical mandate for traditional roles. In his world view, I am not living a Christian life style. Tell me, what amount of education is going to change his mind? Will a list suffice?

I respect both your anger over the subject and your right to post your thoughts. I appreciate your reply to my original post. I don’t agree with your approach, so I fear I may continue to be a disservice to all stay at home dads.


i apologise if you took my comment to be an affront to "your way" of dealing with people who openly insult you or homeschooling SaHDs in general.

we can agree to disagree,

i doubt that a confrontation of the type i described would ever come to blows as i am 6'2" 260 lbs. and have been teaching the chinese martial arts for over 20 years.

you state that "preparing a list" is ludicrus, well that isn't exactly what i meant.
what i should have stated was "in your mind, prepare a list"

what i obviously intended was more to the point.
(the part you chose to leave out in your review)

"in a calm even tone explain to them that we are still men." and then a civil discussion of the subject might be able to develop thereby "educating" the insulting party.

i totally agree with you actually on your tactic of letting the moron who utters that kind of dribble to stew in the silence of a moment or two while he realises what an "ass" he is.

however this is not always the situation, sometimes i may not want to make someone feel like an ass and would prefer instead to win them over to my way of thinking by actually talking to them (educating)

again i never meant to insult the "christian" method of turning the other cheek or those of you who may not be able to intimidate people into silence with your mere size/appearance.

i learned for myself early in life that "witty" comebacks only escalate into even more stupid pointless comments and that sometimes someone who you would have written off as "not worth your time" turns out to be a future good friend and someone who now understands that the world has changed and that we really are still "men" just different.

obviously again, if the insulting party is not worth "educating"
then ignore it or come up with a "witty" comeback, whatever works for you. Wink
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RB



Joined: 06 Apr 2006
Posts: 55

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your response is much calmer than your original post...and I find it much easier to understand and agree with. Thanks for your reply.

Do you, by chance, teach martial arts for Young Champions in or near Independence, Missouri?
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Frank



Joined: 13 May 2005
Posts: 148
Location: Seattle

PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2007 4:36 pm    Post subject: Re: How Do You Respond? Reply with quote

Richard wrote:
Pardon me if you've had this discussion before...
...snip...
How do you respond to the string of thoughtless, insensitive, and sometimes insulting comments from the ignorant masses that you meet each day??


I'm a mostly SAHD. Depending on my mood and on the manner of the person making the comment, I have a couple of different responses.

If the commenter is rude and demeaning, I reply that I'm with the kids because I retired from Microsoft with a whole lotta stock options and I love to be with my kids. That generally shuts 'em up. I try not to be rude in return; but I'm not perfect (nowhere close!) and sometimes give 'em a return ZING! if they've really irritated me with their level of rudeness.

If they're commenting because they seem genuinely curious or just clueless, I explain that my wife and I decided that as long as we can afford to do so, we'd rather have time together as a family than have me keep working just to make *more* money. Money for us is a distant second to family time. People often respond positively to this statement and it sometimes engenders an interesting dialogue.

The details of my/our life and our philosophy are things I'm willing to share or discuss, if a listener is interested; but a listener is never free to insult my/our choices. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt's famous quote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." If someone disapproves of or demeans me or my choices in life, that's their perogative; but I don't hafta listen to it or accept the sting of it.

When you get to the level of "You're ugly and your momma dresses you funny!", it's time to go your separate ways, huh?

See ya,

Frank
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