Home School Dads

Line


Spacespace
Message Boards
Stripes

space
Home School Dads
A Website for Fathers who Home School
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

OK, i'll be the first to admit it...
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Home School Dads Forum Index -> Mr. Mom Syndrome
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
amroberts
Guest





PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 6:44 am    Post subject: Mr. Mom Syndrome Reply with quote

I agree. I've been staying home for 5 years now. This is going to be our first year homeschooling so please pray for us. I never realized how much work went into running a household, however I love it. As men we definitely do things differently than women. It took my wife a few years to give up the reins and let me take over. Good luck to all the men willing to take on these challenges, I,ve had a lot of fun and gained a tremendous respect for what it takes to manage a household
Pat
Back to top
JCassian



Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
Location: SC

PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 5:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My wife is the "bread-winner" here. I tried to work and homeschool my son. It didn't work out. It got to the point where the simple household tasks were being neglected.
It's often hard when around my family and relatives ask me, "What are you doing these days?" When I explain that I am homeschooling my son while my wife works they are usually set aback in disbelief. Now that this first year is coming to its conclusion, I'm learning how to better deal with it.
Admittedly, the most difficult for me is the housework. I'm simply not a good housekeeper. I try, however, to compensate by being an excellent cook.
A third contention would have to be my pride. As a man I yearn to be the provider of material things. I've come to terms with this by realizing that I provide longer lasting things.
Putting things in perspective: Yes, my wife and I have reversed many of the traditional tasks expected of men and women, but we have not reversed roles. She is still the mother, and I am the father. Nothing can change that.
_________________
"The scholar has lived in many times and is therefore in some degree immune from the great cataract of nonsense that pours from the press and the microphone of his own age." --CS Lewis.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JCassian wrote:
My wife is the "bread-winner" here. I tried to work and homeschool my son. It didn't work out. It got to the point where the simple household tasks were being neglected.
It's often hard when around my family and relatives ask me, "What are you doing these days?" When I explain that I am homeschooling my son while my wife works they are usually set aback in disbelief. Now that this first year is coming to its conclusion, I'm learning how to better deal with it.
Admittedly, the most difficult for me is the housework. I'm simply not a good housekeeper. I try, however, to compensate by being an excellent cook.
A third contention would have to be my pride. As a man I yearn to be the provider of material things. I've come to terms with this by realizing that I provide longer lasting things.
Putting things in perspective: Yes, my wife and I have reversed many of the traditional tasks expected of men and women, but we have not reversed roles. She is still the mother, and I am the father. Nothing can change that.



Hi "J"

Welcome to the brotherhood. When you read other posts, you will find others have written the same things that you have. We've all dealt with the feeling that we're somehow misfit. Society has come a long way in the last dozen years or so, when it comes to accepting dads who take an active role in raising their kids and share the household duties. Relatives and friends may be a little skeptical about the choices that you and your wife have made but as time passes and they see how your family thrives, they will soon support you. Ironically, the homeschool community itself is a little behind when it comes to dads in the SAH role so, keep this in mind if you're seeking a suport group to work with. You may have to graze a little before you find a group that fits well. Dads who choose to be the at-home parent and to teach their kids are still relatively rare, but do not lose heart. Just like you, more come along as time passes. Continue to be a great husband, a great dad, a great homeschooling parent and a great chef and when those more important things are taken care of, the housework will get attention. While necessary, it should always be near the bottom of the daily to do list. Okay, when things start to stink or you can't find the dog, move it up a little Very Happy

Take care and stay in touch with us.

Rich
_________________
homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Frank



Joined: 13 May 2005
Posts: 148
Location: Seattle

PostPosted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi, Rich,

Nice comments here. Now, could you also go to "Reasons for Starting: taking the plunge" and give newbie Jason Ferguson some advice? I'd throw in my $.02 but he's looking for help in making his kid do stuff and that's not how we roll, so anything I'd say would be useless (or possibly offensive) to him.

Thanks. See ya,

Frank
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 8:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Frank wrote:
Hi, Rich,

Nice comments here. Now, could you also go to "Reasons for Starting: taking the plunge" and give newbie Jason Ferguson some advice? I'd throw in my $.02 but he's looking for help in making his kid do stuff and that's not how we roll, so anything I'd say would be useless (or possibly offensive) to him.

Thanks. See ya,

Frank


Hey Frank,
Howzit goin? Thanks for the feedback, I do like to give some supportive words when I can. I saw Jason's post yesterday and shared a bit of my own experience. He really sounds stressed.

Take care and stay well,

Rich
_________________
homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Frank



Joined: 13 May 2005
Posts: 148
Location: Seattle

PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2008 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rich wrote:

Hey Frank,
Howzit goin? Thanks for the feedback, I do like to give some supportive words when I can. I saw Jason's post yesterday and shared a bit of my own experience. He really sounds stressed.

Take care and stay well,

Rich


Thanks, Rich,

Good for you. If this ng is to continue, it has have some life breathed into it once in a while. I know my personality, philosophy, and style are outside the mainstream; so even though I've seen a particular post, what I have to say about it may be inappropriate and it'd be best for me to just keep my tongue behind my teeth. I figured you could share some insight with Jason and I'm glad you did.

We're just plugging along as usual in a year which is very busy and highly scheduled for us. I just had my 60th birthday. Wow! Where did the time go? My wife, Ronnie, will hit 43 this month while we're at an unschooling conference. That should be a lot of fun and it'll make for a BIG party. In and around those events we've had and will have visitors staying with us and the usual stuff involved in keeping up with two teenagers.

Speaking of which, our older daughter passed her driving school in January and has been behind the wheel a lot since then without incident. We hope that continues! She'll be eligible for her actual license in September, although we'll be in Italy for her birthday so she woun't be able to take her test for a while after that. She is NOT sad to be having her sweet sixteen in exotic Italy!

Have y'all done and returned from your planned trip to New Orelans? I for one would be interested in reading a trip report.

Our best wishes for you and your family,

Frank and the krewe
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Dadof2boys



Joined: 28 May 2008
Posts: 1
Location: Rockford, IL

PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2008 1:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know how J feels, and I can honestly say, "I've been there, brother!" I am the Dad of 2 boys, ages 3 and 7, and I have been homeschooling for about a year now, and working part time. Many of our friends are homeschooling, but I am the only dad that I know of who does this. My wife makes more than I do, and her patience with the kids can be very limited, so I'm more suited for this line of work. I love my kids and want to provide the best I can for them, but my pride is also hurt when it comes to being the provider. I also feel sometimes that my masculinity is being questioned. It also doesn't help that I recently had a testicle removed due to cancer, which thank the Lord is curable, but I still get little jokes about it from friends. Recently, a friend asked if my wife was going to a homeschool conference with the rest of the wives we know, and I had to respond that it would be me that would go, and not her, as I am the one doing the homeschooling. I also put a sarcastic little jibe in there about my being the woman in our relationship now. I know it's not true, but it burns me when I get the feeling that other Christian fathers see what I do for my boys is "women's work." As far as I know, boys learn to be men from their dads, not from their moms, so I think what I am doing is just as important as working full-time for some corporation that will only pay me .0001% of what they bring in annually! Anyway, it is good to know that there are other guys out there who know what it's like to walk this road, and I'm grateful that this website is up and running.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Rich



Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 173
Location: Coastal New England

PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dadof2boys wrote:
I know how J feels, and I can honestly say, "I've been there, brother!" I am the Dad of 2 boys, ages 3 and 7, and I have been homeschooling for about a year now, and working part time. Many of our friends are homeschooling, but I am the only dad that I know of who does this. My wife makes more than I do, and her patience with the kids can be very limited, so I'm more suited for this line of work. I love my kids and want to provide the best I can for them, but my pride is also hurt when it comes to being the provider. I also feel sometimes that my masculinity is being questioned. It also doesn't help that I recently had a testicle removed due to cancer, which thank the Lord is curable, but I still get little jokes about it from friends. Recently, a friend asked if my wife was going to a homeschool conference with the rest of the wives we know, and I had to respond that it would be me that would go, and not her, as I am the one doing the homeschooling. I also put a sarcastic little jibe in there about my being the woman in our relationship now. I know it's not true, but it burns me when I get the feeling that other Christian fathers see what I do for my boys is "women's work." As far as I know, boys learn to be men from their dads, not from their moms, so I think what I am doing is just as important as working full-time for some corporation that will only pay me .0001% of what they bring in annually! Anyway, it is good to know that there are other guys out there who know what it's like to walk this road, and I'm grateful that this website is up and running.


Hi Dad,

I'm glad you stopped in. Your words came out of my mouth about a dozen years ago and as you continue to read other posts, you will see many more who at one time or another, felt the same way. You and your wife are in a role reversal and while society in general seems to be more accepting of that now, the conservative Christian group struggles with it. You may find yourself internally at odds with much of the teaching especially when it comes to defining the roles of mother and father. You and your wife have made well thought out decisions that have worked well for you so far even though you are still sorting out how your role as husband has morphed into at home parent, primary homemaker and home-educator. While keeping busy with all of that, you write about surviving testicular cancer. It sounds like you're pulling a lot together and doing a great job. This can be especially difficult when you feel that you're alone in the process.

While ours is a virtual brotherhood, please remember that it is a brotherhood just the same and you are part of it. I noticed the time of your post; are you a night owl or does this "sorting out" process keep you up? Keep sorting and writing.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Rich
_________________
homeschooling since '97: daughter, 18- away at college, son, 16 and daughter 13
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Home School Dads Forum Index -> Mr. Mom Syndrome All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3
Page 3 of 3

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
Space

Space
Space
space